Partners Now or Partners For Life?

Partners now or Partners for life?  Be comfortable with yourself Before you invite another person into your life, it is essential to be comfortable with yourself. Be happy with what you do, your hobbies, your friends, and your overall life. If you are unhappy because of some reason, other than being single, find out what that reason is, address it and be complete with yourself. If you have debt or financial problems, it is good to look into logical options that can be achieved and not chase after get rich schemes as these more often than not are scams or take immense effort to benefit from these programs.  Make requirements you desire in a partner Often times, we meet someone nice and take it from there. Some of us go out looking for a pretty woman or a handsome man, or a man with money, or a woman with great “assets”. If you are experienced enough, you will quickly learn that these exterior quantitative attractions are short lived. These things are usually not real qualities as they do not show how well you will interact with the person, how well your personalities get along, how well your interests will match and most importantly, how well you both will get along. You need driving factors that will eventually keep both of you together, permanently. Initial attraction is important for some people to have physical attraction, and that is fine, however, don’t stop there. Make a list of requirements that you would like in a mate, example: Outgoing Its good to think of places you like to go, like traveling both local and overseas, bars, clubs, lounges, picnics, the beach, the park, etc. Going to a mutually fun place is always a great setting for a great relationship. The places you find interesting together will be places you feel the most at peace and relaxed, as well as the most fun. If you have not already done so, start thinking of places you like, start out locally. Go to bars, restaurants, even if it means going by yourself, just so you know your surrounding and know what you find interesting, so you don’t have to scramble when you date asks you where are you taking him/her.  Patience/temper If you have a temper or have extreme patience, you need to set a tolerant level so that others do not take advantage of you. If you have a temper, know that some people will find this trait unattractive as well as if you have too much patience. There needs to be some kind of balance to your quest. If you would like to keep your traits, be comfortable with them and confident so you don’t overpower your mate or vice versa. Baggage/Problems It is important that you again, clear up the possible life issues you have outstanding. This way, you can search for a partner with no baggage. If you have drama, this will drive your mate out of your life, especially if that person has no setbacks. Do not promise change if it is not feasibly possible in the near future. So when you go out seeking a mate, make it clear that you want to know of any baggages that this person has, so that you can assess whether you can deal with it or not. Often times, we get tied to a person and then learn of “skeletons in the closet”. So to prevent this, we need to ask questions upfront to protect us from getting too deep and finding out unpleasant things we would have otherwise run from. Be Honest This is the most common problem for both genders. Our mates lie/cheat and deceive without even thinking about the feelings and the future repercussions of this simple act. Being truthful seems to be a hard task for some, and a hard pill to swallow for those who can’t handle the raw truth. However, it is always a good thing to make th eother party know the truth. This will clear your conscience, and take you out of a deadly cycle of lying unnecessarily. There is often no good reason to lie, even to a child, because there is always the equal opportunity that the person will find out the truth once they are interacting with other people. Truthfulness strengthens almost all relationships. I cannot stress this enough, as this simple factor can make or break relationships, choose your path wisely. Respect By virtue, well mannered people admire people who show them respect. This ties in with honesty and trust. No one likes to be hurt or feel insulted, except for those with unusual fetishes. Be respectful to your mate, be polite, and always try to see a situation from the other person’s viewpoint. If you do not agree, hear the person out and then make a decision, whether you were present at an incident or not, this is what makes things relevant. There is always something to be learned from a situation or interaction, so never neglect to be as understanding and calm as possible, you might just learn a life long lesson. Likes/dislikes Another very important thing to do is make a thorough list of likes and dislikes, turn on’s and turn off’s. As silly as this seems, it has proven to be one of the most effective way for a partner to stay “in the green” as it concerns the other party. How else would you know what bothers or annoys your partner? How else would you go about making that person smile, miss you, and want to hear from you? This does not paint a life story, but it does make things a lot easier for the other person so that they don’t have to go through the phase of trial and error, it is like a roadmap to happiness and not get on the other person’s last nerve unintentionally. Compromising Equally important is the principle of give and take (compromise). Some of us are stubborn down to the teeth. If we think we are right, we won’t even want to hear the other side of the story or what the other person has to say. Often times we even over talk or end the conversation without much more thought as long as we prove our point. This again is very unhealthy. This will end a lot of relationships because it will be impossible for the other person to feel important, liked/loved and that you really care. Just imagine you talking to someone and that person not even paying you any mind or giving you any attention or feedback, that is a very one sided situation that will end soner than later. No logical person will allow themselves to be in such a beatdown situation for very long, especially if they do not have much to lose. Communication Communication is one of the most important factor (if not the most important) of any relationship. Without communication on a healthy level, almost all relationships will be short lived. The same way we interact with friends, family and overall people on a daily basis is a form of communication we often ignore. Society as a whole is built on effective communication. If you are misinterpreted, then your words and intention could be considered harmful, offensive, rude or even stupid. It is important when communicating with a mate or possible mate, to learn to stay quiet while someone else is talking. Think of it as a debate. If you are on television, you wait your turn and then address the other party or the question put in front of you to address. Treat the issue the same way. It might sound different from what some of us are used to, what environment we come from, however, it does not excuse the fact that we must respect the other individual and see their side of the story before passing judgment. It does not matter who did what first, it matters how you will deal with the situation. As a personal example, recently, from the date of writing this article, I was in a relationship. We had wonderful times while we were together, we loved travelling, experiencing new things and going new places. However, when we got into an argument, she would prove to be unreasonable. I would often listen to her side of the story, and most times it did not make much sense to my point, but I listened anyway. When I explained my side of the story, she would interrupt me, and then try to add things in while I went along, and in the end, nothing got resolved.  We broke up for that same reason, I had to end it. I needed someone who was able to sit with me at a table, or quiet spot, talk about our problems, and work towards resolving them. If someone tells me something and acts outside of the spoken resolution, to me, that show lack of dedication, lack of interest and blatant disrespect for my feelings. So only you can decide when and where to draw the line of tolerance. Affection and Intimacy It is important to understand what attracts your mate to you, what turns him/her on, what are their turn offs, what makes them think of you, what makes them want you, what makes them crave you and what makes them go wild when they are in your presence. I do not mean that every single time this person should be hot  and ready for intimacy, however, there should always be room for the possibility. If you kiss your mate, he/she should be happy, wanting and just satisfied with your presence. If this becomes a burden or a chore, you need to find out why this is happening and how you can possibly fix it. Speak about intimacy issues with your mate, and let them know what is bothering you. You should also speak out when you are excited, things you like about the person, how they make you feel, how much you are into them. You should never try to say everything at once. Why? Because your relationship was not made in one moment, in one hour o rone day. Take the time to express yourself in the moment and not sum up everything at once. This will establish more appreciation and make your mate feel alive and vibrant when you enter their presence. Too much sex can become boring after a while. Sometimes it is good to hold back and spend time away from your mate, or go out and enjoy a movie, a date once in a while, do spontaneous things, be romantic. If your mate doesn’t seem to like much romance, speak up and ask them if they do and if not, what can be a substitute? You might not get an answer here, but I am sure you can eventually find out what makes their clock tick. Love Love for most people, at least most that I have come across, and interact with, comes from deep affection and appreciation of the person they are with. This is true as there is a saying that the more time you spend around a person, you see the beauty in them. However, in my opinion (emphasis added), again I say, in my opinion, I do not believe this is love at all. Appreciation, gratitude, thoughtfulness, attraction, etc are all great traits that may lead to love, however, I have found that a greater understanding of yourself and what you are truly seeking will bring along a more vibrant connection called love. I am not sure if this is possible for everyone, but I am sure it is attainable.  I myself have experienced something so wonderful, I wonder if I will ever get the chance to experience such pleasures again. From personal experience I bring you this small excerpt from my real past. I dated a fellow Gemini in college, we dated for approximately three years. Around the ending of the second year, we stood in front of her sister’s house and spoke about what we would like to accomplish in the future. We laughed and joked about various subjects. At that moment, I looked at my girlfriend and thought of how beautiful she was, the almost 3 years we were together and all the wonderful things we’ve done and what has kept us together all this time. I looked at her and saw a future with her, and saw what I wanted in a girl, in a woman, in a wife. She stared back at me after she saw that I was looking at her, and I felt her spirit interact with mine on an emotional level I could not explain. I saw a beauty beyond the physical woman standing in front of me, and I could not put words on the moment in time. My heart raced for a short moment and I kissed her on the forehead. I can tell she was not as matured as I was nor as ready as I was to start a family, but she knew I was in love with her. She did not consciously know what transpired at that moment, as she had no clue what she wanted spiritually. She just saw me as a boyfriend, the one man she was attached and attracted to. And for that, I wish it was different because I never met another woman that I was able to interact with on such a spiritual level. So to me, love is so much deeper than physical connections and emotions, it is more found on a spiritual level. However, this may be different for everyone. Growing up, I heard about infatuation, and the difference between infatuation and love, yet I have experienced something never explained to me and I haven’t heard it from anyone before. This raised the bar as far as self awareness for me.  I would urge all reading this to not expect to just have deep feelings for someone and stop there. Think about your partner as a learning experience and not an accomplishment. This way you both will find interesting things to keep learning about each other. This also helps build self awareness and develop more interest in your partner as a whole and not just as romantic partner.

Short Story - The Thoughts That Bind

About a year ago, I started a short story and never finished it. I posted a few chapters on craigslist and it got a large audience of people who wanted more. But due to my hectic schedule, its just been sitting on my pc.

I have decided to continue the story to completion.

Feel free to leave comments.

Leon B.

What is a Government? Why you should know...

First, before I begin, lets look at the official definitions:

1. Wikipedia Definition:

Government is defined as the body within an organization that has authority and function to make and the power to enforce laws, regulations, or rules. Typically, government refers to a civil government -- local, provincial, or national. However, commercial, academic, religious, or other formal organizations are also governed by internal bodies. Such bodies may be called boards of directors, managers, or governors or they may be known as the administration (as in schools) or councils of elders (as in churches).

Growth of an organization increases the complexity of its government, therefore small towns or small-to-medium privately-operated enterprises will have few officials compared to larger organizations such as multinational corporations which will have multiple interlocking, hierarchical layers of administration and governance. As complexity increases and the nature of governance becomes more complicated,so does the need for formal policies and procedures. Some people, known as anarchists believe that societies would function better without a government.

2. Webster's Dictionary

1: the act or process of governing ; specifically : authoritative direction or control2obsolete : moral conduct or behavior : discretion3 a: the office, authority, or function of governing bobsolete : the term during which a governing official holds office4: the continuous exercise of authority over and the performance of functions for a political unit : rule5 a: the organization, machinery, or agency through which a political unit exercises authority and performs functions and which is usually classified according to the distribution of power within it b: the complex of political institutions, laws, and customs through which the function of governing is carried out6: the body of persons that constitutes the governing authority of a political unit or organization: as a: the officials comprising the governing body of a political unit and constituting the organization as an active agency bcapitalized : the executive branch of the United States federal government ccapitalized : a small group of persons holding simultaneously the principal political executive offices of a nation or other political unit and being responsible for the direction and supervision of public affairs: (1): such a group in a parliamentary system constituted by the cabinet or by the ministry (2): administration 4b

3. BusinessDictionary.com

Body of people that sets and administers public policy, and exercises executive, political, and sovereign power through customs, institutions, and laws within a state.

In my humble opinion, Government is a Good and Bad thing in today's society. Even though government is complex as a whole as it concerns a country, even the broken down or lower divisions are far from being helpful to the majority of its people. Especially in the united states, the government is so complex and multi-layered, it is almost impossible to follow a chain of command to the top. You have the president, congress, state government, city government and local government (then maybe tribal government). Because of the widespread dependence on government (or the governing body) to do everything, the people have blindly given the true power they have, to their government without even knowing it.

A government cannot exist without people, and the government cannot have power without the people giving them the power they need (your vote). If you decide not to vote next year for your local officials, you would see how fast they inquire into what is wrong and why people are not voting. All levels of government would eventually stop operating or take on a rogue character operating under fiction of law.

The good thing about government is that, if the people only knew they had the power to change legislature, laws, rules, regulations and other obstructions, they would play an active part in stabilizing the economy. It sickens me all the time when I see a group of people walking up and down protesting, with picket signs and shouting. Almost nothing gets done with this barbaric act. The term "The pen is mightier than the sword" is a phrase that should be framed and placed on every door on the inside, so you see it before you leave everyday.

Corruption, Secrecy, Deception, Greed, Fraud, Dereliction of fiduciary duty, and intimidation are just a few common words surrounding politics. The power to influence another human being in any society is considered a valuable asset or position to have. It is no different in government, some get busted, while some walk freely.

Why do the government take advantage of its people? Because the people or representatives let them get away with it. First is lack of interest or intelligence to approach the problem. If you do not know something is hurting you, why would you dig deeper? If you do not have the know how, it is normally common for an attorney to turn down your request to proceed with a government investigation unless it is a public matter.

So many problems, so little people with enough knowledge to help the rest... Very Sad.

What is a Deficit?

According to Wikipedia:

"A budget deficit occurs when an entity spends more money than it takes in."

Which I interpret as you're broke. Simply put, if your creditors were to come for their money all at once, you'd never be able to pay them. I can never understand the rationale of spending what you don't have. Similar to credit cards, loans, etc. It is just plain irrational to assume that you will be able to cover the debt in the future. Most people live in the now, and not plan ahead for the future.

I am so glad I am free from debt and bills (well I pay my bills ahead of time), and it is sad that

America is run on a credit system.

I do wonder if we as a planet will ever go back to the times of Mesopotamia. Only natural things of value traded and no confusion about what's right and what's wrong. Simply and eye for an eye, whatever you accept as valuable to trade for whatever I want from you. This would be so much of a better world.

(http://www.mesopotamia.co.uk & http://www.crystalinks.com/mesopotamia.html). The money system has its benefits and disadvantages, but when combined with the system of credit, there does not seem to be any fair play among creditors (or the ones who control credit).

On the other hand, if you are naive enough to think that you will be able to pay back a large sum,

without considering social, economic and disaster factors, you're probably one of those people who has ruined credit or lost their home, car, etc. since the financial crisis hit rock bottom.

By no means am I bashing anyone, but being a rational person, I find it rather stupid to pay for anything for half your life. Look at a house, almost 80% get reposessed and you do not get your money back. If you can't pay, it (your house, car, etc) gets foreclosed, taken from you and the bank makes 100%+ profits, while you are left with nothing. Yet, the government continues to help these rip-off corporations while you suffer. The government is supposed to be for the people, by the people. However, it sure looks like its for the corporation, by the corporation, now that its down to the nitty gritty.

People don't seem to realize that the government is "SPENDING" on their behalf, so ultimately, WE THE PEOPLE is in debt (to who you might ask?). To china and every other stake holder, including the International Monetary Fund (IMF).

I was 100% for obama as a great change in spectrum for the white house, however, its clear that he is in way over his head at this point. The talk of change, although he did and still is working towards this goal, fueling corporations do not instill change. People are still loosing jobs and corporations are raking in big profits and free money from the stupidity of government thinking that these companies will hire more people now that they have more money.

If I had the attention of the american people, I would say this;

"My fellow americans - No, I am not american by birth I was born in Jamaica - But regardless I face the same struggles you face each and every day. I urge you to employ responsible measures to take back the power you have instilled in a body that has caused you grave harm. Be apart of the decision process that determines your life, your family's life, and your future as a whole. You are the ones who have given the government the power it needs to control your life. Now you need to get involved, make your voice be heard, help create the laws, help modify the rules, recreate the court systems, take back your power and use it to your benefit, not the benefit of the wealthy and the oppressing bloodsuckers. Take pride in building an economy that florishes on what you have, not what you had, or what you will have. We live in the now, not tomorrow, or yesterday, we need a system of government that is aware of our needs FIRST, not second to foreign policy! Think about these powerful words and as always, the choice is yours. Get your pens, papers, computers, printers and start gathering and reforming your system of government from local, state, federal and government levels!"