It seems some people do not realize the basic powers and downfalls of their own mind as well as the minds of others around them. You always have a choice, whether it is to get out of bed, take a shower in the morning, brush your teeth, or go to school or work on any given day. No one can truly force you to do something, unless they take you or your body parts and do it themselves, you always have a choice to say yes or no, or to do or not to do something.
The same concept goes for the mind, it can be malleable or docile, made to hate or love, be happy or sad (in conjunction with your "Heart Brain"). There are thousands of both beautiful and not so beautiful women (and men) who suffer from the mental abuse and verbal humiliation of their partners. Most from the outside will always say "Well why don't you leave him/her, stand up for yourself, fight, you can always find a better man/woman" yet they can never truly understand why these people stay in dead end relationships.
Without knowing the working principles that govern the human mind, people on the outside will always have suggestions and sometimes positive ways one can get out of a situation, however, it is never that simple. Verbal attacks on someone is like planes bombing an unarmed village, not much they can do to fight back at the moment. However, there is always a solution to a problem, and it takes the person in the situation to find that solution and make the decision to empower and better themselves.
Someone under verbal and mental attacks did not just jump into such a situation; it took gradual submission and acceptance of the situation surrounding them. Over time, the self esteem, drive, stimulation, independence and power of that person is stripped away little by little until there is little or none left to use effectively. The mind is mended into believing what the attacker is saying, because we always "Learn" by repetition, whether it is good or not for us, we still learn by repetition.
So, in the case of a woman being verbally abused by a man, she will eventually believe what this man is telling her. For example, if a man is telling her "Look at you, you're a fat pig, if you ever left here nobody would want you". Even if this woman is skinny, the mind is so powerfully stricken and bent; that it will believe this lie, and act accordingly, which in this situation would be for the woman to remain where she is, because it is better than being alone. This woman will become self conscious and afraid of men looking at her, because she believes they are thinking she is fat and possibly ugly, even if she is gorgeous. The same goes for men, no matter how strong they may look on the outside, we are all vulnerable to this, if and only if we allow ourselves to be taught these things by others.
So next time you see someone who is abused and in a situation that is seemingly unbearable, just remember that it is not you who needs to believe that it is bad for their mental and physical health, it is the person in the situation that needs to see what it is doing to them. It is that person in the situation that needs to want a change and make a plan to achieving that gradual change. Understanding a problem is the first step to creating a solution. No one can make choices for us, no matter how it may seem like this in some situations; it is always us that must make the decisions affecting us. We can always accept, reject, do or don't, for anything that requires our input or action.
More often than not, people who insult or degrade others have insecurity issues as well. They use their demanding and often demeaning attitude to intimidate others so they can have someone to prey on when they are not feeling up to snuff, or to get a "high". Someone with a strong mental foundation do not need others to be their doormat or insult rag, they will have already have in their possession, the drive, intelligence and articulation needed to proceed and complete any goal, or overcome any challenge ahead.
Either way, it is an issue whether you are the protagonist or the victim...
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